10.21 Focus, organization, and pargraphing

We started class by looking at a site which sells student papers.  We talked about how easily teachers who read your papers can spot writing that doesn't belong to you (using Turn-it-in, or simply noticing differences in the "footprint" of your writing) so my point was not to show you where to buy papers for your courses.  Rather, we used one of the free papers as a "sample".  We looked at a section of it to see how it was focused (what points it made), how it was organized (where it made those points) and how the writer used paragraphing to help the reader grasp and relate those points.

You did a great job identifying the main points of the paper - and the particular groups of sentences where the author made those point.  You noticed that the opening paragraph included 3 different points, each of which were developed at some length.  These points were that:

1. US immigrants should be required to learn English;
2. requiring US immigrants to learn English can suppress or devalue their home culture
3. it is not clear whether US immigrants should or should not be require to learn English.

Identifying a clear focus: You also pointed out that as we read this essay, we are unsure what point the author is advocating.  We could not figure out which position the author was arguing.

Paragraphs and transitions: You then worked with the text to separate the different points into different paragraphs.  As we did this, we noticed that perhaps the paragraphs were not in the right order, and that some paragraphs needed transitions between them.  The transitions lead the reader from one point to another.

Applying what we talked about to your own work.
After discussing the paper for sale, you turned to your own work and thought about:

• what points/stories/ideas you want to make in your memoir/biography
• which points/stories/ideas belong in the beginning, the middle, and the end

For those of you who are still developing your writing, I suggested that you map out what you plan to write.  Everyone thought about how the set of ideas/stories/points work together to create an overall focus. 

As you continue to work on your writing, you can think about your "points" in terms of paragraphs, where each paragraph relates to and develops your focus in a different way.  Sets of paragraphs can work together to make larger points. 

Organization.  In terms of organization, decide whether you want to present your story chronologically - in order of when it happened; or by focus - some feature or topic that unites a set of events, stories or ideas.  As you share your work, you will notice that Jorge's essay is organized by focus (his experiences before leaving Peru with his dogs, with his work, and with the Aerosmith concert), and Saran's is organized chronologically  - as a story of her journey from a past in Africa to a present in New Jersey. 

Introducing/setting up your memoir. Finally, we talked about how the opening to your essay will set up the essay's focus.  It will establish the main subjects/materials/stories you will tell.  Saran read us her introduction - which establishes the idea of a  quest or a journey that is an on-going adventure or an unfolding story - one which is not all the way written.

For next week:
1. In-class writing post.  This should be attached to the in-class writing page, with the date 10.21 as part of the title.  In this writing, you should apply the ideas we worked on in class to what you have written so far.  Specifically:
Work on focus, organization and paragraphing in what you have written so far
Map out the overall focus and organization of your essay (beginning, middle, end)
Work on the set up for your essay
(If you still need to develop more writing - work on that.)

2. Vocabulary.  Add to your vocabulary list.  Define the words you post using words from English that are familiar to you.  Don't use word-for-word copies from dictionary sites. 

In class we will be working on paraphrasing and summarizing - saying what others have said in your own (English) words. 

I will send you an email with your mid-term scores attached.  There is still plenty of time to earn enough points to pass the course.  Still, it is important for you to note that work that is not turned in on time does not receive credit, and cannot be made up (see statements under Expectations on your syllabus). 

Thank you for the good class this evening, and see you next week!